Filling You In

Several weeks ago, we were contacted by a case worker who told us about a little girl who was going to be removed from her home. We had very few details, but he asked us to meet him at the office's playroom to have visitation with her and see if we were interested. It just so happens that one of the instructors who taught our mandatory 10-week foster/adopt classes had mentioned a couple of children, including this little girl.  Each time I saw our instructor in class, I would inquire about the girl and her situation. When it came time for our home study, the case manager showed me a photo of her. He made it seem like she was in a pre-adoptive stage, a done deal, telling us that because of all of the turmoil in her family life, the judge wanted to move quickly to get her into a stable foster situation.

So, fast forward a few weeks. We excitedly drove over to meet her and we ended up spending an hour with her.  Because we were still not done with the licensing process, they pushed to fast track it for us, so that we'd be free to foster her in our home after her court date. This meant that in the span of 4 days, we had 7 visits to our house by various case workers and licensing agents, and then even had a separate health department inspection. I was also in and out of 3 different police stations, and made I don't know how many trips back and forth to the DCF offices. It was absolutely exhausting.

Then came the court date regarding her removal from her current caregiver. If you have never been to a seedy downtown family court, avoid them if possible. The court room was nothing like a tv drama, by the way. They're not brightly lit and modern with squeaky-clean looking lawyers, but are dark and dingy. Everyone looks tired and overworked. After seeing a myriad of adults and children go in and out of their hearings, it really hits home that so many people's families are nothing like what I was lucky enough to grow up with. What I saw was sad and bleak. I truly don't know how judges and case workers deal with some of the terrible and cruel situations that involve children day in and day out. 

  When it was time to speak with the judge, we were informed of a new development. A distant relative of the girl's father had flown down from another state and was willing to take her and her biological brother. This new development would have been useful information earlier that day. (Thanks, case worker.) It was actually good news for the little girl and her brother, but not for us. And that was that. The judge sympathetically told us that children were placed with family if possible, and basically said good luck in your adoption journey. We were devastated and emotionally drained. 

We heard nothing after that from anyone related to the case, and we were hurt at how the case worker had handled us in the situation. I completely regretted the visitation, couldn't sleep at night, and all the while Sean and I continued to wonder about her. We tried not to discuss everything, but we ended up talking about it nonstop. 

Then, about a week later, out of the blue, I heard from the case worker. Remember the distant relative from another state? Turns out, he had a pretty significant claim against him that wasn't disclosed to the judge. The little girl still needed to be removed as soon as possible from her current caregiver but now couldn't be given to that relative. (The brother was with a different family member and remains there.)

The case worker asked me if we were still interested in fostering her...

                    And we now have 22 month old little girl at home with us.