How much did she cost?

Subtitle: Apparently no topic is off limits to strangers.

I remember being at a playground with Teague when he was little and chatting with a lady who had a son of a similar age. I commented that her son looked just like her, and she said, "You think so?" Over time, we became friends, and I learned that her son was adopted. I always felt stupid about what I had said. Her response at the time was perfect, she wasn't rude or condescending, and I always liked her even more after learning that.

We get a lot of questions when we're out with our foster daughter, mostly because she has darker hair and skin coloring than us. When I'm out with her and Teague in this very Latin community, there are stares and comments about why the gringos have a Cuban child. It really doesn't bother me, because it's just human nature to compare and contrast. However, sometimes their delivery just stinks, like the check out guy who asked, "Is that her natural hair color?"  What???

When Sean is with us, we don't receive as many looks, I think because people see his dark hair (and hairy chest) and it seems more plausible. Since our girl has very light blue eyes, and we both have brown, that seems to be the first line of questioning. We've always gotten questions about Teague's blue eyes, to which I throw out my 6th grade science camp Punnett square knowledge.  With two light-eyed kids now, people say, "She has her brother's eyes."  Awww. 

Yeah buddy, our blue-eyed kid probability.

Surprisingly, the question I get the most is about the cost of our girl.  People do actually ask outright, "What did you pay for her"? My answer tends to vary, depending on how the question is asked. If it's a person who is generally curious, I tell them that there is no cost associated with this type of adoption. If people are rude and pushy about it, then I tell them that you can use frequent flyer miles for almost anything these days! 


While our girl looks to be an average (almost) 2-year-old, she is developmentally about 13-months-old, due to some delays. The truth is, her mother used drugs while pregnant, and while our girl wasn't addicted at birth, she does suffer from the tell-tale symptoms of exposure to drugs in utero. It's nothing that she cannot overcome, but it certainly makes the terrible twos a bit more challenging. People can be downright rude in their comments about her behavior, and while I'd love to fill them in, it isn't a conversation I care to share with every random stranger in the park.

Others we barely know have also been so gracious and caring when hearing about our girl. Our neighbor brought over a special chair which used to belong to his now grown daughter, and another was visibly moved when she met our girl, and promptly returned to our door with a package of socks. Puma socks, no less. 

Some people are curious and can be incredibly kind, while others are completely ignorant and harsh. I hope as our girl becomes more aware of her situation, that she will encounter more of the former, rather than the latter.